insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
