Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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