We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
