Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
