nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
