So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
they're like a gay fantastic four
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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