the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
