I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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