Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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