he shaved USA in his pubs
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
