i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
