I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
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Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
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I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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