It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
