Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize