All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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