i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
