OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
