He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
