You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
