I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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