I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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