I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
