just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
