I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
