It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
