if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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