it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I want a musical about memes.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
