so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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