drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize