I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
