is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
COCAINE IS GR8
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
