wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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