he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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