i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
