Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
