Sorry, I don't speak sober.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
