Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
