from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize