So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
