So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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