its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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