hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Please, let me fuck your mom
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I would ride that face into the sunset
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
