lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
