Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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