Too much gin, very little bucket
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
