is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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