You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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