omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
