no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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