Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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