so explain again why im purple
no
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
