marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
