Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
