The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We got so high we made milksteak
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think i got beer on your cat.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
