I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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